silverking | ✖ IC CONTACT #1

Well! It's just that--

[And then she stops talking. Because yes, she has an answer. But, really, does she want to say it?]

[Maybe not.]

[But then again, is there any way around it at this point?]

[Her breath shakes.]

--I don't know if I should say.

But that's part of it. I never know what I should say. Because I can't trust you, not even if I want to. And I do want to.

But I can't stop wanting to, either.

You're going around in circles... you'll make yourself dizzy, sick even, if you don't decide soon.

...Although, you've already gotten sick, haven't you?

I wonder if that would have happened if you'd... been shouldering less of a burden.

Hmm...

But I don't know if--

[Wait, what's that Hmming?]

...what?

It's nothing.

...please tell me. If you don't, I'm just going worry about that.

Well, it seems you've bitten off quite a bit more than you can chew as of lately... ah, that is to say, you've been through quite a lot, and you've had no reprieve from any of it. It's been one thing after another, and I wonder if that has anything to do with why... you fell ill in the first place.

But I digress... after all, that has nothing to do with why you're so afraid of me.

Mm. It's been... a very difficult month or so.

And I guess it is a digression, a bit. But it's not completely unrelated. ...Isley, I.

[She takes a deep breath, and... plays with her bedspread. Which ruffles the Forge a bit.]

I wish I could tell you how complicated you make... everything. Well. I guess I could, but it would take a while. I don't even know if I have the right words. And I'm not saying I want you to go away. And I'm not trying to be difficult, it's just that it's you. You make me feel so...

[Afraid? But that's circular. She bites on the knuckle of her thumb.]

...safe. In a way. And calm. And when I'm not with you, everything is confusing and loud and I'm so angry and so... sad all the time. And when I am with you, it's quieter, and I almost feel good again.

But that's... so terrible.

Is it really so terrible to feel that way with someone that loves you?

Yes.

...because it means you're the one who can ruin me.

Perhaps.

Although, it could also mean that I'm the one that can save you from ruination.

I wonder if we'd even agree on which is which.

[A shaky little sigh.]

But. That's why I'm afraid of you.

I don't think you're going to hurt me. And I do believe you, most of the time. At least I do now.

You've been very... demonstrative.

I suppose that I can only hope your fear will fade in time.

Perhaps... if you're ever ready.

Well. I got used to your yoki. ...mostly. I guess anything is possible.

[Hey, it's a joke. Sort of.]

But, Isley. Your nature, it's... It's not that I think it necessarily makes you awful. [...then again, she isn't saying he isn't awful, either.]

But the things you need to do. They're part of what you are.

[ He knew that sooner or later this would be called into question. He had hoped it would be later, but as usual, luck is not on his side. ]

I can control my needs.

[...well! She's been trying not to think about it too much. But that joke.]

[She bites her bottom lip.]

Can you? Really?

[It's not that's skeptical. It's just that...]

[Well, okay she's skeptical.]

[In fact.]

Maybe. But not forever. And you would lose a lot, too... wouldn't you? Become weak.

[A little breath.]

Luciela told me.

And I don't want that, either. I don't want you weakened, because then they'll kill you. But I can't just say I don't want you to be weak, because then what am I saying? What am I hoping for? I don't want you hurting anyone either.

Well, it's neither here nor there right now... not something to worry too much about. You have more than enough concerning you at the present, anyway.

But I'm always worrying about it. It's not like I ever forgot what you are. Or what the me you knew was. That's why I always say--

[She stops talking, because she needs to calm the hell down. And she hugs her knees, digs her fingers into her calves.]

Maybe you're right. I mean... about the time.

✖ IC CONTACT #1

What a horrible idea!

It appears to be a problem stemming from your childhood. Let's dig deeper to get to the root of it.

o-oh god, no, let's not!

But in order to cure you...

/slinks toward the door

...where do you think YOU'RE going?

...I'M JUST GOING TO THE LOBBY, I THOUGHT MAYBE SOME CHEETOS... FROM THE VENDING MACHINE...

The vending machine you saw earlier is a figment of your imagination.

...lemme go check. >.>

Well, in that case... let me go with you. ^_^

.... that's okay. I know where it is. .../slinks

Nonsense. I'll escort you.

.... /runs for the door

/gives chase, because ooooh the chase is so much fun~

ahsbdbad OH MY GOD, I JUST WANTED THERAPY!!

And here I am offering you the whole package... leer

.... >.> you just wanna eat me!